February 25th @ 10:14 a.m. MST we entered the 1st QTR Moon phase, situated at 06 degrees of Gemini 47'. By this time of each Moon cycle we meet up with a part of self that needs to be let go of, a blockage or obstacle that may get in the way of further Soul growth. The Full Moon in one week's time brings Illumination - AHA! moment(s) - a spotlight of knowing - what your particular seed of potential has been about this Moon cycle.
Each New Moon brings a new opportunity to GROW consciously, Soulfully, to bring ourselves closer to who we truly ARE. As of 2015, I notice each phase of the Moon cycle really is intense, in your face, LOUD in other words. Grabbing our attention to "see" what was unconscious before that moment in time.
Where were you on Wednesday at 10:14 a.m. and what did you experience? Gemini brings knowledge, communication, how we gather information and data and share it. Who and how we socialize, communicate, learn, process mentally. How we interact with others, especially our siblings. What angles do we use to manipulate others to get what we want? Spin Doctor. Twisting the truth to fit your truth in that moment. Ego certainly works in interesting ways to keep the status quo, prevent change from occurring.
Back to Wednesday morning: what was your Soul beckoning you to "see" as a blockage in your life? Where does Gemini, the mutable air sign, reside in your chart? We can be of two minds (The Twins or Two Towers represents Gemini) talking self out of, or into, something. As a mutable sign, we can allow others to talk us into what they want from us, rather than sticking to what we know to be true for self. How we learn to say NO and ASK for what we want and need for self.
Gemini also represents our Inner Talk, those ongoing tapes that play round and round, constantly at times. Some are ones we have created ourself, many more are what we heard and took on from others. When you listen in on this Inner Talk, is it supportive or tearing you down? 60/40? 50/50? 40/60?
All of the above is what came to a head on Wednesday morning, LOUDLY, with fallout in the days following. This 1st QTR Moon phase lasts until March 1st at 8:03 a.m. MST. What has been blocking YOU for years or lifetimes? Preventing you from networking and socializing more effectively in your local world, depending upon where Gemini is located in your chart - which House of Life Experience was activated for YOU to "see" more clearly, heal and move on from?
As an example: in my chart, my 10th House of Career, goals and ambition, reputation in the world, was activated at the moment of the 1st QTR Moon phase. At that moment I experienced a rather bizarre conversation with a person I barely know, whom I started working with a week before. The conversation triggered some deeply held Ego fears of not being able to work fast enough to satisfy this person. To not KNOW enough, BE enough, and perhaps be left behind, abandoned and kicked to the side.
What was the root of this trigger? In Grade 1 myself and several classmates were ill for several days, missing school. When we all returned, something was wrong. Where was the rest of our classmates? They weren't in the same room as we were. Our teacher didn't say anything, and gave each of us a test to do. Again, why? What is this all about? What did I do wrong? What have I missed?
Years later I realized the test was to check what version of Grade 1 class we were to move into: the smarter class or the normal class? They were already splitting us off from one another, creating a division (The Twins) making us feel different from the whole we had been before.
What did I take away from all of this, that has haunted my career and learning ability? I don't want to be left behind, so I better learn and ask questions NOW, and quickly, in order to be prepared for the Future - Unknown as that is - creating a need to be in control (Ego) as much as possible. To KNOW and BE as much as I can so I am not left behind.
On Wednesday the person I had been working with for only 5 days pushed that panic button (literally) that I don't have all the pertinent information, that I wasn't "getting it" fast enough (for her) therefore I am not competent. That somehow my ability to process new information is not good enough, not fast enough, therefore I am not good enough. Very much having the potential to undermine my self-confidence and self-esteem.
Since that day I realize this person needs me to be less than (being a bully to get her way) in order to feel superior/better within herself. I learn a certain way, which she takes exception to. She actually takes steps to negate my way of learning, to keep me from progressing through the learning curve that comes with any piece of work that is new. Again that separation (The Twins) and desire to have me do it HER way (mutable). And her Inner Talk is being projected onto me, like a stick, beating me verbally, daily.
I was faced with two options: continue to allow her to undermine my confidence OR take my power back. Become empowered. Move through an old trigger I didn't consciously know existed, that was blocking me, in my case, regarding how and what I pick to do for work. Do I stay in a position that makes me feel less than? Or do I stand up and say NO thank you, and walk away?
I have since healed this trigger/blockage. Monday I will finish the process, formally. I have already set in motion a plan to dig deeply within myself to find out, "What really IS the work I am to do in the world? Truly? What am I totally passionate about? Is it only Astrology? Or is there more?" To finally allow myself to SEE my true self's ambition, set goals aligned to who I AM now, and move forward more fully integrated, not split (The Twins).
How have you splintered or split yourself off from your True Self? What knowledge have you been holding away or against yourself that has, in turn, triggered negative self talk, which in turn manifests as bullying self and/or others? All because we are not standing in our true power as our true self.
I look forward to "seeing" more clearly what I have disentangled myself from to more fully integrate with my True Self by the Full Moon March 5th. Which, as it happens, occurs in the mutable earth sign of Virgo - BEing of Service to Others - our daily work in the mundane world! Cool. Stay tuned....
BLESSED BE!